Jun. 6th, 2017

Colonoscopy

Jun. 6th, 2017 06:00 pm
bkeulfulks: (Default)
With many thanks to mother sharing her family history with me, I get to have a colonoscopy a good 10+ years earlier than most. Thanks Mom. It's going to be tomorrow, which means today is Operation Dinner Plate Ass (meaning an ass so clean you can eat off of it. Um yeah, sorry) So why not document this process?

Here's been my week so far...

5 days ago I had to start a low fiber diet, with some additional restrictions. That meant no raw fruits or vegetables, no beans, nothing with seeds, no red or purple foods, no granola, no whole grain, etc. (Seriously I would knock a small child over for a salad right now)

Then came today. The big prep. The day you say goodbye to solid food and start a clear liquid diet.

4am: I woke up super early to sneak in an egg and a piece of toast.

6:30am: Went to work for an OT shift to keep my mind off of not eating.

3pm: Took 2 laxative pills

5pm: Mixed up 64 ounces of powder Gatorade and a bottle of Miralax. I have to drink one glass every 15 minutes until it's gone. Which means I will be taking 2 weeks worth of laxative in 2 hours. I'm currently 2 glasses in, nothing yet.

Soooo hungry, but no worries, they included complimentary powdered chicken broth and a lemon gelatin dessert. Seriously, I'm living the high life.

6:15pm: Clay doesn't want to eat real food around me so he's going to go out and get dinner. Probably something awesome like tacos and a big ass salad. I've apologized in advance if I get hangry today.

Time to drink my next glass, and wait for the seal to break. Wish me luck.
bkeulfulks: (Default)
6:27pm: Seal is broken. Pray for me.

Guess it's time to make dinner. Who doesn't love powdered chicken broth?
bkeulfulks: (Default)
7:37pm: I have decided buttons on pants are too risky. I have changed in to my PJs. It's safer this way.

7:45pm: There's a glass of tainted Gatorade next to me. I don't want to drink it. There's at least one more glass in the fridge. I'd go to bed but I don't think that would make this stop.

You know how people say the drink themselves sober? Do you think that happens with hunger? Will I starve myself full? That would be nice.

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