Colonoscopy

Jun. 6th, 2017 06:00 pm
bkeulfulks: (Default)
[personal profile] bkeulfulks
With many thanks to mother sharing her family history with me, I get to have a colonoscopy a good 10+ years earlier than most. Thanks Mom. It's going to be tomorrow, which means today is Operation Dinner Plate Ass (meaning an ass so clean you can eat off of it. Um yeah, sorry) So why not document this process?

Here's been my week so far...

5 days ago I had to start a low fiber diet, with some additional restrictions. That meant no raw fruits or vegetables, no beans, nothing with seeds, no red or purple foods, no granola, no whole grain, etc. (Seriously I would knock a small child over for a salad right now)

Then came today. The big prep. The day you say goodbye to solid food and start a clear liquid diet.

4am: I woke up super early to sneak in an egg and a piece of toast.

6:30am: Went to work for an OT shift to keep my mind off of not eating.

3pm: Took 2 laxative pills

5pm: Mixed up 64 ounces of powder Gatorade and a bottle of Miralax. I have to drink one glass every 15 minutes until it's gone. Which means I will be taking 2 weeks worth of laxative in 2 hours. I'm currently 2 glasses in, nothing yet.

Soooo hungry, but no worries, they included complimentary powdered chicken broth and a lemon gelatin dessert. Seriously, I'm living the high life.

6:15pm: Clay doesn't want to eat real food around me so he's going to go out and get dinner. Probably something awesome like tacos and a big ass salad. I've apologized in advance if I get hangry today.

Time to drink my next glass, and wait for the seal to break. Wish me luck.
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